she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
