very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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