Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
