Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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