Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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