I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
