come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
