the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
