i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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