I can feel you judging me through the phone.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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