Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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