On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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