i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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