what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
