Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wear drunk well.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
