need another drink. this is the easiest way
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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