I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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