C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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