My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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