Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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