I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
