guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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