Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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