she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
