just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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