Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
