: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
