My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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