Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.

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(314): View more from Missouri

My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"

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(815): View more from Illinois

The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.

(928): View more from Arizona

wow.

(815): View more from Illinois

But it's a REALLY good back rub.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

Less talking, more tequila

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(707): View more from California

Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀

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