AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.