How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?