Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

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  (765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away. http://tfl.nu/4aee
  Replies (25) Good night (1601) Bad night (714)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.

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  (314): My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control. http://tfl.nu/vcg1
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (2845)
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  (805): View more from California

  "what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me

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  (805): "what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me http://tfl.nu/evlb
  Replies (7) Good night (538) Bad night (1983)
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  (760): View more from California

  oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year

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  (760): oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year http://tfl.nu/nw70
  Replies (11) Good night (4374) Bad night (554)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit

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  (937): don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit http://tfl.nu/p5pp
  Replies (18) Good night (3702) Bad night (777)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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  (412): we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later http://tfl.nu/u7bo
  Replies (24) Good night (6157) Bad night (777)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.

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  (215): hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges. http://tfl.nu/xi1h
  Replies (3) Good night (1424) Bad night (1049)
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  (530): View more from California

  He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.

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  (530): He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET. http://tfl.nu/u2s2
  Replies (2) Good night (1384) Bad night (411)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.

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  (613): Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad (1-613): I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it. http://tfl.nu/4mo6
  Replies (0) Good night (841) Bad night (392)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs

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  (517): I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs http://tfl.nu/fis6
  Replies (9) Good night (2353) Bad night (519)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward

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  (717): It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward http://tfl.nu/5j4d
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (780)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.

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  (904): Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire. http://tfl.nu/weew
  Replies (14) Good night (930) Bad night (430)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.

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  (864): Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype. http://tfl.nu/2egz
  Replies (5) Good night (1549) Bad night (288)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.

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  (613): My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break. http://tfl.nu/fmum
  Replies (0) Good night (1077) Bad night (267)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

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  (419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (223)

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