you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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