the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
