There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
