Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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