I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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