Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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