I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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