need another drink. this is the easiest way
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
