if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
