I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
