I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
