YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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