u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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