Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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