remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
