As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
