Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is it because I queefed?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
