Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
