Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
