I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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