why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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