I think im going to throw up on grandma
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
