Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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