you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
