You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
