I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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