remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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