Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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