I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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