just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
