No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
