That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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