I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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