my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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