I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
