you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
