seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
